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March is Self-Injury Awareness Month, a time dedicated to shedding light on a critical mental health issue that affects many young people. Self-injury, also known as non-suicidal self-injury (NSSI), is a coping mechanism that some individuals use to deal with emotional distress. As a parent, understanding what self-injury is—and what it is not—can help you support your child through difficult times.
What Is Self-Injury?
Self-injury involves deliberately harming one’s own body to manage overwhelming emotions. Common forms include:
- Cutting
- Burning
- Scratching
- Hitting oneself
- Hair pulling
While self-injury is a sign of emotional distress, it is not necessarily a suicide attempt. Many individuals who engage in self-harm do so as a way to cope rather than to end their lives. However, it is still a serious concern that requires attention and support.
What Self-Injury Is Not
There are several misconceptions about self-injury that can prevent proper understanding and support. Self-injury is not:
- A cry for attention – Many who self-harm do so in private and may go to great lengths to hide their injuries.
- A phase – While it may be more common in adolescents, self-injury can persist if the underlying emotional struggles are not addressed.
- Only cutting – There are various ways individuals self-harm, and they may not always leave visible marks.
- Something to ignore – Even if a child insists they are okay, self-injury is a sign that they need emotional support.
What to Look for If You Suspect Self-Injury
If you are concerned that your child or a loved one may be engaging in self-harm, watch for these warning signs:
- Unexplained cuts, burns, bruises, or scars, often on the wrists, arms, thighs, or torso.
- Wearing long sleeves or pants even in warm weather to cover injuries.
- Bloodstains on clothing, bedding, or tissues.
- Keeping sharp objects, such as razors or broken glass, in personal belongings.
- Frequent isolation, avoiding social activities, or withdrawing from friends and family.
- Expressing feelings of worthlessness, shame, or intense emotional pain.
- Sudden mood changes, such as increased irritability, anxiety, or sadness.
If you notice these signs, it’s important to approach your child with care and understanding.
How to Talk to Your Child About Self-Injury
Starting a conversation about self-injury can be challenging, but it is an essential step in providing support. Here are some tips for parents and guardians:
1. Approach with Empathy, Not Judgment
If you suspect your child is self-harming, approach them with care. Avoid anger or accusations, as this can cause them to shut down. Instead, express concern and offer a safe space for them to talk.
2. Use Open-Ended Questions
Rather than asking “Why are you doing this?” try asking, “Can you help me understand what you’re feeling?” This invites conversation without putting them on the defensive. Other helpful questions include:
- “How long have you been feeling this way?”
- “What makes you feel better when you’re overwhelmed?”
- “Is there anything I can do to support you?”
3. Reassure Them of Your Love and Support
Many young people who self-harm feel ashamed or alone. Reassure them that you are there for them, that they are not in trouble, and that they do not have to go through this alone.
4. Avoid Overreacting or Making Ultimatums
It’s natural to feel scared or upset, but responding with anger or punishment can push your child away. Instead of saying, “You need to stop this right now,” try, “I want to help you find other ways to cope.”
5. Encourage Professional Help
Counseling can provide the tools and support needed to address the underlying emotional pain that leads to self-injury. Let your child know that seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
6. Check In Regularly
Self-injury isn’t a one-time conversation. Continue to check in with your child in a supportive and non-intrusive way. Let them know you are there for them whenever they need to talk.
Ways to Help Your Child Cope
Helping your child develop healthy coping strategies can reduce their urge to self-harm. Here are some alternatives to self-injury:
- Creative Outlets: Encourage journaling, drawing, or music as a way to express emotions.
- Physical Activity: Exercise, such as running or yoga, can help release built-up stress and emotions.
- Sensory Tools: Squeezing a stress ball, holding ice cubes, or using a fidget toy can serve as distractions.
- Mindfulness & Breathing Techniques: Guided meditation or deep breathing exercises can help regulate emotions.
- Building a Support System: Encourage your child to talk to trusted friends, family members, or a counselor.
Self-injury is a serious issue that requires understanding, compassion, and proactive support. If your child is struggling, know that help is available. Reaching out to a mental health professional can provide the guidance needed to navigate this challenge together. By fostering open communication and providing healthy coping strategies, parents can play a crucial role in helping their children heal.
If you or your child need help, please know that KidStuff Counseling is here to help with all of life’s stuff. You can request an appointment through our Contact page.
